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By Jeffrey Combs
I have learned some valuable lessons in my twelve plus years of Networking and entrepreneurial endeavors. I have discovered that the opposite of rejection is not only acceptance it's also perseverance. After nearly thirteen years full time in this industry, I have definitely learned the art of persevering.
When someone else's words or actions lead to misunderstanding and hurt feelings it's because you are taking "It personally." Rejection! That's what that feeling is and it just begins to take you over. Your knee-jerk response is all out of proportion to the event itself and is most likely a reaction to rejection experiences dating back to your childhood. Now new hurts pile on top of old ones and it's as if each cutting remark opens up old wounds that are not yet healed.
As an entrepreneur and Marketer it is very important that you get a clear true handle on rejection. My message to you today is on how to handle rejection and how not to take it personally.
Over the years, signs and signals, tones and inflections, words and phrases pile up in your subconscious. These childhood rejection wounds may come from parents, teachers, siblings, aunts, uncles, babysitters, grandparents, or neighbors. Maybe they were intended to hurt and maybe they weren't. Either way, they become self-rejecting beliefs that can tinge your adult relationships.
The very reason that many Distributors are fearful of "picking up the telephone" to make prospecting calls is because they have a very real fear of "rejection!" When they hear the word "No" they take it personally, hold onto it and often times feel like a failure. They may call their upline support concerned that they're doing or saying something wrong. This fear of rejection is what paralyzes many people in network marketing and keeps them from achieving their dreams.
Network marketing is really about collecting decisions. When you're a networker you are in the business of exposing people to your products, services, income opportunity and your self-confidence. It works like this, no exposure, no income results! I can't tell how many people I have seen get started in a home-based business and of course they are very excited about the possibilities ahead of them. These people will get their offices set up, attend training events and spend several hours getting ready to get ready. Sometimes they even go so far as to quit their full time jobs in order to really focus on their new business venture. Then the big day comes and it's time to pick up the phone to make that first prospecting call and they're so paralyzed by fear that they never make a single call.
In order to overcome the fear of rejection we must first recognize this problem and research our own past history so we may begin to live in the solution. The very next step is to decide that it is time to stop taking everything so personally. If you don't make sales, you collect a lot of no's. I know what you're going through - I was once there myself. Please understand that collecting many, many no's is all part of the journey on the path to success. That journey is a process all successful people must go through at some point in their networking career.
A no is not a permanent condition nor is your current status or position in life. Start to view everything that used to hold you back as short term. Please realize there are no failures and every roadblock can be turned into a building block if you change your philosophy. Begin now to view every situation as part of your education on this journey to personal and financial freedom. By making the decision to undertake building a successful retail business and a prospering sales force, you have placed yourself in a tremendous position to grow in every area of your life. You're in the position to grow personally, spiritually, financially and yes, even physically. How much are you willing to gain, not lose, on this journey to success?
Here are several tools for you to use in order to move past the fear of rejection:
We all experience feelings of fear or rejection at some point in our networking career so you are not alone. Each of us must make a decision of how we will react to our fear. The winner's way is to face it head on and use the fear as fuel to move you forward. You're on the path to personal and financial freedom and it's your responsibility to share your products and opportunity with as many people as possible. A yes or no answer is not a good or bad decision and it's never about you
- Before you take a no personally do a thorough analysis of the situation.
- Recognize that you can't change certain situations but you can change how you react to the situation.
- Understand networking truly is a numbers game. You must get many no's in order to collect a few yes's.
- Find a mentor or coach to work with or model yourself after. Someone who has been in your similar situation.
- Get past the "what's wrong with me" syndrome. Realize your prospect is experiencing fears of his or her own. Fears that keep him/her from a yes decision.
- Reflect on childhood experiences and evaluate the patterns you continue to perpetuate in your life. Patterns that are fear based.
- Remind yourself, "I have a choice here." Will I take this no personally?
- Research books on dealing with rejection. There are many good ones available.
- Take consistent action and learn from the experience.
- You get good at talking to people by talking to lots of people!
Make the decision right now to become "rejection proof." I did and so have many successful people and you can too!
All The Best,
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